February 25, 2009 at 9:16 AM, my year of first started. Experiencing the “first” holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc, etc without my Dad was going to be tough. I remember March 25, 2009; exactly the first month after Dads death, hit me really hard. It was on the same day, the same weather, and the same emotions.
Then there was my first Birthday without him. I missed the phone call saying “Happy Birthday Son.” Then there was the first Fathers Day. Oh my. How I missed picking out a Father’s Day Card and how I missed seeing him that day. There was his first Birthday, the first Car Show, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and then Mom’s birthday.
But as today marks the one year anniversary of the passing of my Dad, it also marks the end of the year of first. I can tell you that I am glad that the year of first is over. It’s been a tough year. As I watched the ball drop on TV on December 31, 2009 I reflected on how awful 2009 has been. Tears came down my cheek as I thought about my year of first and how I was glad that 2009 was over.
Today, not only am I going to celebrate my Dad’s life, I’m going to celebrate that the year of first is over. I wish I can say that the sorrow will be over, but I can’t promise that it will. All I can do is rejoice that my Dad is in heaven and I no longer have to experience the year of first.
The year of first is the hardest year ever! July of this year will be 7 years for me and I remember it like it was yesterday. The healing continues but so does the "missing"
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your year of firsts is over too. Keep celebrating his life. Keep remembering what he loved doing with you and keep doing it. And when the tears come, and they will. Just smile and know that its ok...because your tears are the path to continued healing.
I love you. I'm praying.
@spreadingJOY